Faith, (again)

I literally used to have no faith in God or people. This all started about November 11, 2015. I mean how could I have faith in a God that took my child. How could I have faith in people because the leave.

I literally had no faith. I just pretty much existed. I promise, the thought of going to work well, that wasn't going to happen. I took off work not because I just couldn't go back, I didn't want too. Why would I want to work with people, they let you down or, they leave you.

I didn't go to church. Why would I? God let me down. Because every night I prayed he watched over my children then, he took one of them. Why would I go and serve someone that let me down?

I resented everyone and everything. I hated holidays, birthdays, anything that I knew she loved.

I hated football, music. I hated everything. I hated myself.

Then, I received a book from a friend and I read it. And I thought wow, this lady lost a few of her children and she never stopped believing. If she loved and served the God that I felt let me down, well I could. If she trusted people even though she was left and letdown, I could.

So, over a course of time, I changed. I met people that today I don't know if I could make it without them. I lost people that I know I can make it without them (not by death by choice). I still see them sometimes but, it no longer bothers me that either they left me behind or it was God's will they were left behind.

I now have faith. I trust people. But most importantly, I trust and love God. Because one thing I know, he has my back if no one else does.

Matthew 17:20 "Faith can move mountains."